Don't worry...be happy!

Normally on a day like today, I'd be loving the gray fall skies, and the crisp air. There's a but in here. The house finally sold. I signed the final papers yesterday, and Tim is moving out as I write this. I know, because he called to see if Chris could help him move his things into storage. So now I'm feeling sorry for myself. Lost my husband...lost my job....lost my house. I'll try to count my blessings in a minute, but indulge me a minute to feel lousy ok? This isn't how I'd pictured my life going. I think that's actually part of the problem. I didn't picture my life much at all. I was just blindly living it, innocent, stupid me. I fully trusted the people in my life (no names here) and look was happened. I don't want to turn into a hard, cynical person....but I sure can see how that happens to people. I think I need a good dose of light therapy right now....or lots of color....no, chocolate...where's the chocolate?

The county called me on Monday and informed me I didn't get the position. I had a feeling that was going to happen, after the person conducting the interview told me she was concerned I might be too nice for the job. Big red flag....The same day I got a call from a friend who told me her husband's company was looking for someone full time in an accounts receivable positon. The pay is bad, and the benefits don't sound great either. I sent in my resume, but I'm not sure I want the job. I REALLY wanted to work for the county. What to do...what to do...?

Ok.....enough self-pity! I thought I'd pee my pants the first time I saw this! Enjoy!

Swedish Apple Pie

Here I go with another recipe. Vicki over at Turkey Feathers (see the link at the right) was so kind to site my blog in hers. Mine pales in comparison! She is the creative person I have aspirations of being! I had sent her my recipe for Swedish apple pie. She made it, liked it, and mentioned it on her site. I almost feel famous! Tee-hee! She also took a gorgeous photo of it, if you want to see it. I figured I'd better post the recipe so folks could give it a try. It is easy and it is wonderful...especially served warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream! Let me know what you think!?

Swedish Apple Pie

4 cups sliced, peeled apples
2 Tabl. Brown sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
½ cup softened butter
¼ tsp. salt
1 cup sugar
1 cup flour
1 egg
1 cup chopped walnuts


Directions: Fill a 9” pie pan with apple slices. Sprinkle with the brown sugar and cinnamon and toss to mix. Mix the butter, sugar, and egg. Cream together with the flour, salt, and nuts. Spread on top of apples (I use my hands to cover evenly). Bake at 350 degrees for 55-60 minutes. I like to serve it warm with vanilla ice cream. I have also doubled the recipe and baked it in a 9 x 13” Pyrex pan. You have to increase the baking time a bit. Makes 6 servings.

WHOO-HOO!!!!!

I got the interview with the county!! So now I can start worrying about that!!

Ode to candy corn...

Either you love them or you hate them.

This sickening sweet confection has been been around for a long, long time. Over 100 years in fact. I used to like to eat them in layers....heck...I still do. They're a little too sweet for adult Kate though. I find myself mindlessly eat through half a bag....then the sugar hits your stomach like a brick and makes you feel like "uughh...what'd I do that for?" Not too mention, they kinda look like human canine teeth from someone with really bad oral habits. The British perhaps? The ingredients seem relatively basic, but I bet if you got them to the right temperature, you'd wind up with a fiberglass speedboat or a swimming noodle or something. They also are coated with carnuba wax. Isn't my car coated with carnuba wax?? Someone told me recently that they used to like them until they heard of someone's house burning down and the only remaining thing was a perfectly intact and untouched bowl of candy corn. Makes you think....

I don't know...the jury's still out on this one. I think I liked them better when I was a kid. I was in Target a week ago, and they have candy corn soda, from the good folks at Jones Soda Company. Chris and I tried it last year and it is a vile concoction! Don't do it! Just don't do it... But I digress....Here is some interesting, or perhaps not-so-interesting trivia on the legendary candy:

**Candy corn has been around for more than 100 years. George Renninger, an employee of the Wunderlee Candy Company, invented the popular confection in the 1880s and Wunderlee became the first to produce the candy. The Goelitz Candy Company (now Jelly Belly Candy Company) started producing the confection in 1900 and still produces candy corn today.

**Originally, candy corn was made of sugar, corn syrup (not HFCS), fondant and marshmallow, among other things, and the hot mixture was poured into cornstarch molds, where it set up. This original mixture is probably where the name of the candy corn-like Mellocreme Pumpkins comes from. The recipe changed slightly over time and there are probably a few variations in recipes between candy companies, but the use of a mixture of sugar, corn syrup, gelatin and vanilla (as well as honey, in some brands) is the standard.

**More than 35 million pounds of candy corn will be produced this year. That equates to nearly 9 billion pieces, which is enough to circle the moon nearly 21 times if laid end-to-end. That alotta corn....

**A serving of candy corn has about 22 pieces and contains 140 calories, no fat.

Just thought you'd like to know......

Ready for a dramatic rant?

Don't you wish this was real? I'm sorry I've neglected you for so long! English and nutrition and diet therapy have taken my life over this week. Not only do I have a 1,500 word essay to accomplish on the realities of home in comparision with television families (I know....should be fun I think! LOOOSY....I'm home!!), but I've got my first big exam on Wednesday night. My head is swimming with info on fat-soluble vitamins and peptide bonds! The good news is my English professor liked my last essay and gave me an A! Whoo-hoo! I'm really enjoying essay writing, and I think I'm good at it too! Should I dump nursing and be a writer? Do they make money? I don't want to be a Danielle Steele or something....her books make my flesh crawl with her descriptions of male anatomy in action....if you get my drift! Book editor sounds really interesting, but I have no idea what that would involve. Would you be an English major then?

Anywho, last week I wasn't feeling well. Conditions were just right for a "perfect storm" scenario. My body was saying---Kate, you stupid, stupid girl! I know how to take care of myself, but do I do it? Part laziness, part busyness, and part hopelessness. Obviously if I was more active, I wouldn't weigh what I currently do. If I wasn't so busy with class and job hunting, and juggling Chris's stuff, maybe I would take the time to cook nutritious meals. I think I'm looking for excuses though. In reality, I punish myself. On a subconscious level, and even more scary--a conscious one. As much as I try to push out the crap that's been stacking up in my life, it creeps in. I miss Tim, and I'm dreaming about him all the time. I worry that I'm never going to get another chance with him, or anyone else. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. Pain is always there...it never leaves me. I've got tears running down my face as I type this. Why should I take care of this worthless person? I tell myself--do it for Chris, Kate....but someday he's going to make his own way and I'm what will remain. Wow...am I hormonal or what!! Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer! Shake it off Kate...shake it off! As I was saying, I wasn't feeling well. I was very sick 10 years ago when I ruptured a hole in my colon. I'll spare you an image of diverticula (although for a brief moment I considered it...but I want you to come back to my blog!) I healed from my surgeries beautifully, and I really have not had many issues in the last decade. Last week, however, I felt the telltale pinch. I remember it well. Right before I lost my medical benefits due to my current unemployed state, I saw my dear, sweet doctor--Stacy Nuccion at Kaiser. Love her!! She is so awesome! She told me if I needed her for any reason to call, whether I had benefits or not. I got her office on the phone and explained that I knew the necessity of getting on antibiotics right away, so she called them into Walmart for me, and told me to go to bed for a couple of days. Now, normally the idea of being in bed like that sounds kinda appealing....read a good book....some magazines.....television.....but when you're in pain? Not so much fun... And have you seen daytime television?? Do they really think we're idiots?! No thank you! Somewhere in here I should probably put in a paragraph. Another precursor to this flare-up was the fact that Tim's grandma got me all upset. We had a garage sale with his grandparents. They live in a mobile home park in Calistoga, so garage sales aren't very successful for them. When they heard we were going to have one, they asked if they could join in. No problem. Well....the topic, as grandma and I were sitting there, of Tim and I came up. At the time, I successfully changed the subject. But......she called me a couple days later and said "You know what Katy...have you ever though of just talking to Tim and seeing why he wants this divorce?" You have got to be KIDDING ME!!!? I told her I've begged...I've pleaded....I've groveled...I've humilated myself...I've cried a buttload ( I didn't say that to her....but you can picture me doing it can't you?!) of tears. Nothing. He won't go to a counselor...Christian or otherwise....he wouldn't see my pastor who was so willing to help us in any way he could (he even offered to pay for a weekend away for a Christian couples retreat!)....nothing. He's just done. Stubborn, stupid man!! Aarrgh!! Her answer was "oh....well....we'll just keep praying then." I know she loves me, and thinks of me as her granddaughter, but gosh that woman stirred me up! And of course.....what happens next? That's right....I get my period! Of course!! Nuf said. The perfect storm! And Dude!! Do antibiotics give you heartburn or what?? I gotta take better care of myself. Just have to....

I continue to hunt for a job...so far...unsuccessfully. It's very discouraging, and I worry that my family is thinking I'm sitting up here on the second floor with my feet up watching tv and eating chocolate bonbons. I'm not....at least not the tv part. I eat to feel numb...I've said that.....Chris's birthday is at the end of the month....Christmas is going to be here before we know it! I'm glad God's in control cause I don't seem to be! Wish he'd clue me in a little...

Goodness.....I've gone on...and on...and on....Thanks for reading my rant.....what's new with you?